Happy Birthday Mom

This is a picture of my mom as a new bride on her way to the first of many duty stations. 
Today would have been her 82nd birthday.
I would like to say that I am over the initial grief but I think that the pain of losing her will be with me until the day that I die. 
My mother and I had a complicated relationship from my teens to my late 30's.  I'm sure more than once she would have wanted to just deck me but instead she just chose to let me go my own way.  It wasn't that I was rebellious, it was more about me just wanting to be me.
I was raised a catholic but from a very early age I questioned everything about it.  My mother was a woman of faith and took her position on religion completely on faith that what she was told from the priests and nuns in her life to be fact. 
I stopped going to church when I moved away from home and into a dorm for college.  I think that I broke her heart more than once when I spoke so flippantly about her faith...the way that college kids can do.  And so in turn when I got married I chose to be married by a Justice of the Peace instead of a church wedding.  Why would I even consider a church wedding when I hadn't set foot in one in the last 6 years.  But true to her nature ...when she got her head around the idea that I wanted the simpliest of weddings...she threw herself into the process just like any other mother of the bride.
I broke her heart again when after 2 years of marriage I made the decision to have my tubes tied so that I wouldn't have to take the pill any longer and I didn't want to have children.  She just could not imagine how I wouldn't want to be a mother.  My reasons for not wanting children are really quite simple.  I'm a selfish person and I didn't want to have them.  I never enjoyed holding babies and I never enjoyed playing with dolls much and I didn't like to babysit at all.  Some people are drawn to stuff naturally but I like to say that I didn't get the gene that tells you to have a baby.  Don't get the wrong idea...I have nieces and a nephew that I adore and would do anything for but I didn't want to do it myself and I'm very happy with my life. 
The older I got the more I learned how to approach my mother with things.  She was a wonderful sounding board for problems and because of my love of cooking she often called me to ask a cooking question.  That became for me a bridge to her. 
I think that these last 10 or so years we were the closest that we'd ever been.  We talked constantly and spent more time together that we had the previous 40.  In fact  2 years ago when my husband and I took a cruise to Alaska, we asked my parents to come with us.  They did and we had a wonderful time.  I will never forget that trip and so glad that we asked them to come with us. 
So today I remember the woman who brought me into this world.  I remember her smile, and I'm struggling to remember the sound of her voice.  I miss her so much but so glad that we hadn't had a cross word to one another in a very, very long time. 
Happy 82nd Birthday Mom.  I wish that you were here so we could celebrate but I will remember you today anyway.  I love you.

Seattle

A couple of weeks ago I traveled to Seattle, WA.  The reason for going was a High School Reunion.  No, I did not graduate from High School in Seattle...I graduated from High School while my father was still in the military and we were overseas in England....I may have said that before but in case I didn't...
My high school holds a reunion every 3 years.  That's because our school no longer exists and so we are a finite group...before the advent of the Internet and social media like Facebook it was harder for us to find each other and keep in touch.  Now it's not so difficult but we are a small group and we tend to be a fairly close knit group of people.  We also vary the locations of our reunions because we are spread to the 4 winds.  The USA is split into 3 sections....West Coast, Central and East Coast.  So every 3 years we hold a reunion in one part of the country.  This past time was West Coast and locations were suggested and the alumni voted on where they would like to go.  Seattle won.  So that's how that happened. 
I was not going to attend this reunion because mother had been so ill at Christmas but along about March I could see that she was getting much better and started to watch for airline prices to fall. 
I have a site that e-mails me when a particular fare that I'm watching is going for a particularly good price.  It's called *AirFareWatchDog.
*AirFareWatchDog has no idea who I am other than sending me e-mails and I get no financial compensation from them.  I just know about them and have used them several times to get good fares on plane trips to reunion sites.  

So a great fare came about and I jumped on it.  Then of course Mom got sicker and sicker and then she died and so I considered not going....but my tickets were non refundable (one of the downfalls of buying online).  I still didn't have to go but I would have to use my tickets within a year anyway if I delayed my trip and I had the time to go, the reunion to attend and other people to see...so I debated it and then decided to go.  
I chose to stay with an old friend from High School at his apartment instead of staying in the hotel because I didn't want to stay in a room by myself and he offered.  Besides he's also dealing with his mother having cancer and we're really good friends, our parents are good friends and because he is a professional photographer I felt like I would really get to see not just the tourist Seattle but the city that he has called home for the last 30+ years. 

This is of course the Space Needle...built for the 1962 Worlds Fair it is synonymous with the Seattle skyline.  And my friend lives just 2 blocks to the north of this iconic symbol.  So looking out his picture window I was able to see this every single day.  
Dinner the first night was right around the corner from his apartment at a Greek Restaurant.  I can't remember all that we ate and drank but I remember that it had lamb in it and along with Ouzo and a couple of glasses of wine made for a fine night of conversing with an old and dear friend. 
After dinner we opted for a walk and ended up downtown and I sought out my other friends in town for the reunion and my very special friends who made the trip from England.  They were still trying to get over jet lag and since I had been up since about 3 a.m. Tom and I decided to call it a night around 11 p.m. and we walked back to his apartment. 
The next day Tom had business to take care of and so did I.  I had a mission to accomplish and that was to head out to Bainbridge Island to pick up a cap from the Sage Fly Rod Company for my husband.  

This is a picture of the waterfront from the Ferry taking me and my friends to Bainbridge Island.

This is the tip of the island and we begin to pull into Bainbridge Island. 

As you can see by the sign....we made it to the factory.  Funny story here....I'd done a little research before I left and saw that there was a "gift shop" there at the factory.  I could also take a tour of the facilities but really all I wanted to do was to get the cap or a couple of them for my husband.  
I had the address of the factory and I knew that once we got off the ferry all we had to do is get on a bus and it would take us right to the factory.  What I did not know was that the bus we needed to take did not run until about 4:30 in the afternoon.  It was just 11 a.m.  So the kind lady at the Ferry port suggested that we take a taxi (one price for all of us) and that way we could go and get back in time for the ferry to take us back to Seattle.  The Ferrys run about every 1/2 hour or so all day long and then slow down to about every 3 hours after 6 p.m. and they run until about midnight.  So if you lived on Bainbridge...you could catch a ferry around 6 p.m. and take it into Seattle and eat a nice dinner out and then catch the ferry back home and never have to drive for more than 5 minutes.  And the commute to work is much the same.  If I was a city person...that would not be a bad commute.  But I digress...the funny story as I promised.   So we take a taxi to Sage and when we get there ....there is no gift shop...none, nada, nothing.  I am crestfallen...I know that I read on their website that they had a gift shop.  Everyone there is very nice and my friends are all laughing at me and so I appeal to the lowest form I know of....begging.  My story is unique...I've come all the way from Texas just to visit the Sage company and surprise my husband with a cap from Sage because that is the only rod that he uses to fly fish with.  I'm about to cry when I see the receptionist make a phone call and directly a young man comes out with a cap for me.  Yeah...success....I thank them profusely and ask how much and of course there is no charge.  Score again.   Oh yeah and on the way back to the hotel I spot a flyfishing shop and buy my husband another cap that has the Sage logo on the back.  
That night my friend and I decided to have a lovely dinner at his apartment and so off to the grocery store we went.  Fresh steamed crab was on the menu along with a lovely green salad and some red potatoes.  A nice cold beer to top off the meal and I was in heaven...oh yeah and some good bread...bread that I had baked and brought with me.  

The next couple of days were a blur of activity....Pike's Market, the aquarium, Chihuly Garden and Glass, glassblowing, Discovery Park, EMP Museum, the monorail and of course all the good food that Seattle has to offer.  Here are just a couple more pictures....

There are too many pictures and not near enough time to go into it all but surfice it to say that I really had a wonderful time and it was good to get away for a while and visit with old friends.  And the reunion was really great too!!

Ssssssnnnnnnnnaaaaaaaakkkkkkkkeeeeeeeee

Let me just state this for the record.  I love, love, love living in the country.  And as crazy as this sounds....I don't even mind the snakes and we have a lot of them.  All shapes, sizes, colors and dangerous and not.
But although I am not afraid..yes, I'm not afraid of them, I am always on the lookout for them as you never know when one might appear.  I respect them, give them their space and we have a wonderful relationship. 
However, that does not hold true for our dogs.  We have two dogs.  A Schipperkee that is 15 years young and a Blue Lacy that is about 5 years old.  Pepper is the Schipperkee and she has been bit twice in her lifetime.  Once when she was a puppy and then again when she was about 2 or 3.  Both bites were on the face...which tells me that she was just sniffing around like dogs will do and was in the wrong place at the wrong time.  Because the bites were on the face then you have a whole lot less to worry about.  There are no major blood vessels in the face and so the reality of the situation is that there will be swelling and pain and maybe even infection but there will be no death...unless of course the dog is very old or very health compromised in some way.  So a trip to the vet to get some medication for pain and steroids for the swelling and something for infection is usually all you have to worry about.  
The day before my mother's funeral we were all sitting on the porch...my younger brother and his family were staying with us until after the funeral and so we were all out on the porch enjoying a morning of reflection and memories of my mother.  Bonnie was over by my clothesline sniffing along the ground to see what creatures had passed that way the night before.  All of a sudden she jumped back and my husband ran to see what she had jumped from...knowing it was probably a snake.  I also ran to see and grabbed Bonnie to see if she had been bitten. 
Yes it was a snake and yes it was a rattlesnake and yes she was bitten.

This is the snake that bit her.  There has been nothing done to this picture but you can sure appreciate how camoed she is.  Don't really know if it's a female...I just always refer to snakes in the female tense..
Bonnie was bit on the face and although she does get a shot for rattlesnake bites she soon began to show signs of shock.  Her gums turned white, she got a far away look in her eye and began to pant rather rapidly.  Bob loaded her into the truck and off to the vets he went.  He called the vet on his way to tell her to expect him and so that they would be ready to receive him once they arrived.  Our vet is only about a 10 minute drive away so that was fortunate. 

This picture was actually taken late the next day.  The vet decided that it was in Bonnie's best interest to keep her overnight and into the next day as we had my mother's funeral to attend. 

Here's what she normally looks like. 
But she's right as rain now.  A few days of swelling and medication and you would never know that she was bitten.  Which is something that we try to avoid but sometimes happens. 
I'm off this week to Seattle, WA.  I'm going to a high school reunion and to see old friends of mine and some friends of my mothers.  It's going to be a fun trip but I'm also sure that there will be a few tears shed when I have to visit my mother's friends.  I'll post pictures of that trip when I get back.  

In Memoriam

Beloved wife, mother, sister, aunt, and nannie extraordinaire passed away on June 1st, 2012 following a long and valiant battle with breast and liver cancer.

Born on August 7, 1930, she was a faithful Air Force wife who followed her husband to exotic duty stations like Okinawa, Japan and Upper Heyford, England, along with stateside assignments from Bangor, Maine to Nevada and all points in between.

She was preceded in death by her parents Martin T. and Irene P. Hartigan of Gardner, MA.

She is survived by her loving husband of 59 years, Wallace A. "Mike" Kulczyk Jr.; her sister, Hope Hartigan Miller; two sons, Mark and wife Sheila, and Chris and wife Laurie; two daughters, Lyn Pool and husband Bob, Chickie Shields and husband Mike; and four grandchildren, Christine and Hannah Shields, Sean Kulczyk and stepgrand-daughter Stephanie Del Rio.

She was a wonderful friend to all who knew her and would go to extraordinary lengths at Christmas time to find just the perfect gift for each member of her family.  She was her grandchildren's biggest supporter in all activities, a forgetter of acorn squash in the oven, and her Sunday Roast Beef dinner is yet to be duplicated.  She will be deeply missed.

The family will receive guests at a visitation on Wednesday, June 6, 2012 from 10:00 am until 12 noon at Cook-Walden Capital Parks in Pflugerville, Texas.  A Funeral Mass will be held at St. Louis Catholic Church on Wednesday, June 6 at 2:00 ppm with interment following at Cook-Walden Capital Parks Cemetery in Pflugerville.

We would like to extend our thanks to Dr. Dennis Welch who treated her for 16 years, the wonderful ladies of the St. David's NAMC Infusion center, and the nursing staff on 3 North and Hospice Austin who helped her in her final transition.

In lieu of flowers, donations to the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Research Foundation would be appreciated. 

This is the obituary I wrote following the death of my mother. 
8 short paragraphs that don't even begin to tell the wonderful story of my mother. 
I am so very sad.
In my heart I know that she is now without pain.  What I do not know is where she is.  I tell people all the time that I am not religious.  I feel that I am spiritual and I believe that there is a higher power...but heaven...I'm not so sure.  From dust we came and to dust we will return. 
I'm putting one foot in front of the other because the world has not stopped turning, I'm taking one breath at a time and I'm living one day at a time. 

Daddy is still here and he needs looking after....my pain is nothing compared to his.  I can't even begin to imagine what he's feeling.  How do you live in a house alone after living in it for almost 40 years with someone.  One breath at a time.

Mother's Day Brunch

Last weekend the whole family was in Huntsville at the graduation of niece #2.  Hannah graduated from Sam Houston State University and we all went to cheer her on and celebrate.

And because it is such a loooooonnnnnnnnggggggg trip, mom and dad drove up the day before and stayed until sometime on Sunday and then made the long trip home. 

Mom would understandably be very tired and so we decided that we would celebrate "Mother's Day" this weekend with a brunch at my house. 

I'm making Migas and Cinnamon Rolls.  My sister is making a breakfast casserole with sausage, eggs and potatoes.  Hannah is making mimosas, Christine is making Ranch Potatoes and Sheila is bringing a fruit salad. 

So the following is my favorite cinnamon roll recipe.  It's a Betty Crocker recipe that I found on the back of a flour bag about 30+ years ago.  It's one of the best recipies that I've ever found for cinnamon rolls and it's stood the test of time.  There are several reasons that I love this recipe.  First reason is because you actually make up the rolls on the day before you bake them.  That way all you have to do is get up in the morning, take them out of the fridge and then bake them.  Second reason I  like it is because it calls for part whole wheat flour....so you sorta feel like you are eating something that's good for you while you are eating something not so good for you.  Everything in moderation.

So our ingredient list is active dry yeast, warm water, milk, sugar, vegetable oil, baking powder, salt, 1 egg, whole wheat flour and all purpose flour.

Dissolve yeast in 1/2 cup warm water.

While that's getting dissolved put 2 cups of milk in a saucepan and heat just until you see little bubbles forming around the edge of the pan.  Take the milk off the heat and let it cool for just about 5 to 10 minutes.






Now stir the milk into the dissolved yeast along with the sugar, oil, baking powder, salt, egg and 1 1/2 cups of each of the flours. 

Beat this until smooth. 

Add enough of the remaining flour till it's easy to handle.  And then knead until smooth and elastic. 

Cover with plastic wrap and let rise in a warm place till doubled...at least an hour but it may take more time depending on the temperature in your kitchen. 

Punch down.  Now here you can divide into 3 equal portions.  Make one and freeze the other two to use on another Sunday or Saturday or whenever you want. 

Roll your portion out...I've got a crowd coming so I'm using the whole thing. 

Sprinkle with a cinnamon sugar mixture.  I won't give you any measurements for that because my husband and I are sorta cinnamon snobs.  I will only buy a certain kind of cinnamon and we like a lot of it.  It's a very subjective thing.  If you like a lot...use a lot...if you don't then don't.  I also like to sprinkle just a bit of dark brown sugar as well over the entire dough.  

Roll up the dough jelly roll style and pinch the edges together.  I've found that it's easiest to cut the rolls with dental floss.  Slide the dental floss under the roll and then cross the ends over each other and pull.  It will cut clean through without crushing the rolls. 

Put the dough into a greased pan or glass container and cover and let rest in the fridge over night.

Next morning take them out of the fridge and let come to room temperature before you bake them.  Then make your icing (recipe follows) and frost and eat.  

FROSTED ICEBOX CINNAMON ICEBOX ROLLS

2 pkgs. active dry yeast

1/2 cup warm water

2 cups lukewarm milk (scaled then cooled)

1/3 cup sugar

1/3 cup vegetable or canola oil

3 teaspoons baking powder

2 teaspoons salt

1 egg

3 cups whole wheat flour

3 cups all purpose flour

Dissolve yeast in water, stir in milk, 1/3 cup sugar, oil, baking powder, salt, egg and 1 1/2 cups of each flour. 

 Beat until smooth. 

 Add enough of the remaining flour till easy to handle. 

 Knead 8 to 10 minutes. 

Let rise in greased bowl about an hour or an hour and a half.  Punch down and divide into 3 equal portions and freeze till later or use. 

Spread with butter and cinnamon and sugar and brown sugar if you want. 

 Roll up jelly roll style and cut into rolls and put in greased pan. 

Let rise in the fridge overnight. 

Next morning let come to room temperature and then bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes.  Let cool for about 5 minutes and then frost. 

BROWNED BUTTER ICING

Heat 3 tablespoons butter over medium heat until delicate brown. 

 Stir in 1 1/2 cups powdered sugar, 1 tablespoon milk and 3/4 of a teaspoon vanilla extract. 

 Beat until smooth and of spreading consistency. 

New Life

I have a part-time job working for a woman Dr. that lives up the road from me.  I do a variety of tasks and one of them is to keep her animals fed and watered.  

About 6 months ago she got some goats to help with her ag exemption with the hope that they would eventually have babies. If the baby turned out to be a doe then she would either keep or sell to someone.  If the baby turned out to be a buck then she would have several decisions to make.  One would be that she would have to castrate it to be sold for Bar-B-Que or not castrate and sold to someone looking to expand their herd. 

 That may sound harsh for some of you out there but that's what life is like in the country.  You need to pull your own weight in some form or fashion or you are bound for greener pastures...and sometimes not on this earthly plain. 

These two adorable little guys were born not last night but the night before.  They are both little bucks so their fate will be decided in just a few short weeks.  But at this age they are almost too precious for words.  

We have two more momma's that are pregnant.  One will probably give birth within the next two weeks and the other momma will be a little later than that. 

With any luck the other does will give birth to girls.  At any rate we're looking forward to more babies in the near future.  

Poppies

Poppies, poppies...everywhere. 
Last fall my husband received a packet of Poppy seeds from a friend in Northern California and told me that if I wanted I could sprinkle them around the front yard.  So I did. 

For those of you that don't know about Poppy seeds...they are tiny...about the size of a pin head and I'm not talking about those glass heads...no way....about the size of a stainless steel pin head. 

So sprinkling them is a little difficult and hard to figure out just how many of those will take and how many will get eaten by various bugs and how many will just wash away in the rains. 

Well.......I guess that I did too good of a job cause we got a LOT of Poppies.  This particular variety is pink and the petals are kinda ruffley...is that a word????   

My husband was less than pleased...especially when you consider that each one of these blooms becomes a seed pod after the flower is spent and that seed pod contains hundreds of seeds.   He wasn't upset that we had the success of the blooms but he was upset because he felt like it might shade out other plants that were getting started at about the same time.  

So I have been very busy lately as the blooms have faded and produced the seed pods of gathering the seeds.  I know that I won't get every one but hopefully I'll gather enough to share and enough to sprinkle along the long drive to the house so that we have color next spring.