If you can't say anything positive.......

These past few weeks have been hectic, worrisome, scary, lighthearted and miserable.  There, I think that I've put it all in a nutshell. 
After 4 rounds of chemo and constant complaints of shortness of breath my mother collapsed at her home and EMS had to come and take her to the hospital because my father was not able to lift her off the floor. 
Dr.'s determined that she had fluid surrounding her lung which was making it very hard for her to breath.  Now she'd been complaining about this ever since she had radiation and even though chest X-rays were taken as well as a CAT scan there was nothing being done to correct the situation.  Well, to make a long story short...she ended up in ICU.  It was a very, very scary time for all of us as well as her.  To see the look in her eyes that she was afraid.  Not that she is afraid to die..she's just not ready to die.  She has a bucket list of things that she wants to see before she's done her time on this earth.  Nothing earth shattering mind you.  But her top priority is to make it to May 2014 to see her oldest grandchild graduate from Texas A&M University Vet School.  I think she'd like to see a wedding as well but the Vet school thing is a pretty big deal. 
Once mom got into ICU and stabilized they drained the fluid from around her lung.  It was a lot...almost a quart and it was bloody.  Now they told us it could be 1 of two things.  It could be cancer causing this or something else.   But when the test results came back it showed that there were no cancer cells in the fluid.  Now nobody is saying anything about the radiation causing this but the family is pretty sure that the radiation caused this.  She had a broken rib prior to radiation, then the radiation on her chest...I'm sure that the radiation caused a hemotoma on her lung which was irritated by the broken rib and viola..we have excess blood in the chest cavity.  Makes sense to us...apparently not to the Dr.s.  I think they are afraid in this day and age of a law suit...which wouldn't happen in this case cause my parents aren't those type of people but it would be nice if they would at least admit that we are in fact right about this.  And to top it all off...the next time they drained her chest they got less blood and they kept saying it would come back.  She had a tube inserted so that when she was released she and Daddy or any of us could drain her lung and we've done it a couple of times getting no more than maybe a tablespoon of liquid out.  Looks like whatever happened corrected itself.   But I think the worst part of this whole exercise was when a young Dr. came into my mother's room before she was released and told her to get hospice ready.  She had maybe 6 months.  What!!!!  This was news to my ears.  Who was this young Dr. and where does he get off saying this?  I'm a realist.  I know that my mother is going to die sooner than I would like to see her go...but 6 months....no, I refuse to believe it.
Her oncologist came in a while later and told her that she had lots of treatment options and she needed to get stronger before he could begin treatment...but mother didn't hear any of that...despite the fact that he has been treating her for over 15 years.  She trusts him because he too has had cancer...but she still didn't hear him...she only heard the young guy.  
Christmas to say the least was miserable in more ways than one.  She didn't get to shop for presents, or wrap anything and this is her time of year.  Christmas has always been so special because of her and the joy was taken out of it by some careless words said by an unfeeling Dr. 
The day after Christmas my sister and I went in to see my mother and she was all ready to get hospice set up.  She was talking about her funeral, what she wanted to be buried in etc.... We were both fighting the tears and daddy was beside himself.  But I also knew that she "was not there" yet.  I felt before anything about hospice was done that she should at least see her oncologist again.  Nope, she was not going to go.  But time can heal and by Wednesday she was ready to see the oncologist.  He told her again that he would tell her when it was time to call hospice.  He had another treatment that he wanted to get her started on and that all she had to do was get stronger so she could begin treatment again.  Well, talk about doing a 360....she even whistled on the way back from the Dr.s. office. 
If I was a guessing person...I don't know if she'll make it to May 2014, she's a strong determined woman of 81.  I'm hoping that she does because then I will know that she attained the number one thing on her bucket list and she could die knowing that she accomplished that. 

Tomorrow I Race

Tomorrow I race in support of all those who are fighting Breast Cancer.  Tomorrow I race in celebration of all those who have won the fight.  Tomorrow I race in memory of all those who did not.  Tomorrow I race with the hope in my heart that a cure will be found and I will never have to race again. 
15 years ago this past August my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer.  She was 66 years old, it was in one breast and in one spot.  They took 17 lymph nodes and it wasn't in any of them and she still had them take the whole breast.  Her feeling was.."I've lived with that breast for 66 years and I don't need it anymore."  Her oncologist told her that her breast cancer was estrogen receptive which means that it was directly related to her taking estrogen while going through menopause. She did not have to have chemo or radiation but she did take tamoxifen for about 6 years and in that 7th year we rejoiced.  We figured that we were out of the woods so to speak.  She was free of cancer and we could go on with our lives. 

So here it is 15 years later and she has breast cancer...a rare breast cancer that has attached itself to her liver and and ribs.  It wasn't supposed to happen. Her oncologist tells her that with radiation and chemo she has a good chance of putting into remission.  She's already done with radiation and she's had two rounds of chemo.  So far so good.
What's the purpose of all this...well it's to say that you can't ever be sure that you are completely safe.  Breast cancer...all cancers are horrible and I truly hope in my heart that in my lifetime they will find a cure and I will never have to race again!!  I love you MOM!!!

Kick Ass Beef Stew w/ potatoes and peas

Mom has chemo tomorrow.  So we've all be sort of taking our turn with bringing them casseroles and soups and stuff that they could just heat up and still eat fairly well.  I've made them my Chicken Noodle Soup which I have to say is a magic cure all for what ails ya.  How else can I explain that my father is in Full Remission from a cancer that your not supposed to get full remission from?  At any rate, here's the recipe:

Red Wine Beef Stew with Potatoes and Peas

2 lbs. beef chuck for stew, cut into 1-inch chunks
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper (I use the white organic stuff cause my hubby loves it better)
3 Tablespoons butter
4 Medium carrots, peeled, halved and cut into 1-inch chunks
3 small onions, diced
2 Tablespoons all-purpose flour
28 or 29 oz. (depends on your cartons of Chick broth...mine are 28 oz.  I think most are) reduced or low sodium chicken broth
2 cups red wine...I happen to love Fall Creek Granite Reserve Cabernet Sauvignon..but use what you like to drink.
1 can tomato paste 6 oz.
Handfull of Rosemary and a Bay Leaf...a couple of bay leaves if they are on the smallish side
2 medium russet or Yukon gold potatoes, peeled and cut into 1-inch chunks
1 to 1 1/2 cups frozen petite peas or a handfull of fresh green beans.  What ever floats up your skirt.

Season the beef cubes lightly with salt and pepper. 

 Heat 2 tablespoons of the butter in a heavy 6-quart pot over medium heat. 

 As soon as the butter starts to turn brown, add half the beef and raise the heat to high.  At first, the beef will give off some liquid, but once that evaporates, the beef will start to brown. 

 Cook turning the beef cubes on all sides until the pieces are as evenly browned as possible, about 5 or 6 minutes after the water has boiled off.  If the pan starts to get too brown at any point, just turn down the heat a little.  Scoop the beef into a bowl and brown the rest of the beef the same way using the remaining butter.

 Scoop out the second batch of beef, then add the carrots and onions and raise the heat to medium-high.  Cook until the onion starts to turn translucent, about 5 minutes. 

Stir in the flour until it has been worked into the veggies and you can't see it anymore.

Pour in the Chicken broth,

 wine, and

 tomato paste. Mix it well, till tomato paste is fully incorporated.

 Toss in the rosemary and bay leaf.

 Then slide the beef back into the pot and bring the liquid to a boil.  Turn down the heat so the liquid is just breaking a gentle simmer.  Partially cover the pot and cook for 50 minutes.  Stir the stew several times while simmering so it cooks evenly and nothing sticks to the bottom.

 Stir the potatoes into the stew, cover the pot completely, and cook until the potatoes and beef are tender, stirring occasionally, about another 45 minutes.

 Toss in the peas or green beans and cook for another 5 minutes until the peas turn bright green and are cooked through. 

I like to serve this with a rustic roll that I make and will give that recipe at a later date.  My husband prefers to eat stew with crackers.  

First Post

I'm sitting here thinking how many people have done this way before me and wondering how many of them thought about this first post.  What ground breaking message in this first post can I convey so that people might be interested in following. 
In the 70's this was actually called journaling and people wrote down their thoughts with a pen on paper or in notebooks or books that were full of empty pages.  Now with technology we are doing the same thing but it's public and hundreds if not thousands of people can read what you write.  Interesting concept and I'm doing it too.  I think it will be interesting to see if people find this and read and enjoy about the mundane things in my life. 
I'll probably be writing about life here in rural Texas.  There will be posts about some of the cooking that I'm doing.  Both my parents are dealing with cancer issues and so that will be in here as well. 
I think some of the posts will be interesting and some not so much but if you find this welcome aboard.