Wonderful thoughts if I felt that way but I do not. I'm not trying to be negative here, that is just not my experience.
I would have thought if anyone would have felt my mother's presence then it would have been my sister. She spent more time with mom than anyone of us kids. That was because she was the one to have children first and she lived closer to her physically than the rest of us. But alass my sister doesn't feel her presence either. Not that she or I for that matter would not like to, it's just that that has not been our experience.
About 6 months after mother had died, I had a dream. I was at my parents house (in the dream) and I walked into the TV room where my father was watching TV sitting in his favorite chair. I said Hello and where is mom. Daddy said, "She's back in the sewing room but she's coming up the hallway." It was in the next instant that I saw my mom. I said, "Hi Mom, you are looking really well!" And she said, "I feel really well!". And we embraced and it was so real. It lasted for what seemed like 5 minutes but I could feel her arms around me and it was a wonderful feeling. And I also felt this sense of peace come over me. I've not had another dream about her.
Flash forward to a couple of nights ago...just a bit over 6 months since my father passed. I had a dream. This time it took place in a small restaurant...a pizza joint. Pizza was a favorite food with my dad and we shared a lot of pepperioni pizza's over the years. I didn't really recognize the restaurant but that didn't matter because I knew I was there to see my dad..and there he was, in the middle of the room. I walked over to his table and he got up and we embraced. It wasn't as real feeling as the one with my mom but it was there. I remarked to him how good he looked. He had put on weight and there were no bruises on his body. Because of the type of cancer that he had he looked like someone had beaten the crap out of him all the time. And then I remember thinking that this wasn't real and poof...the dream was over.
I think about these two incidents and I wonder to myself about the human mind. Is this how we cope with what is the un-copeable?
I don't have the answers, probably never will have them but they do comfort me in some strange way.
